if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
