He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
