The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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