So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
