I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize