No awkward lesbian experiences without me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
