The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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