I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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