everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
