I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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