you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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