at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You are the jesus of drinking
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Success! We fucked roommates!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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