Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
