He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
