Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
