she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize