there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
