I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
