There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
