sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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