Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
