Well apparently he's into motor boating.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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