ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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