Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Randomize
