Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
