my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
