no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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