I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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