omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
