I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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