can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
