It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
