Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
