his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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