Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
