i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
