Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
