Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
