it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
