thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
