how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
