the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
