home. puking in laundry basket.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
