At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
