if you like me you must not know who I am
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize