Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
