i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
