Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
