i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
