if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
