She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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