My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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