Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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