I must be too annoying 4 u.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
