you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
