DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
