I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
