well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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