Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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