why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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