What did we do last night that was yellow?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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