using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
