we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize