The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
