K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
