So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I will pee on everything he values.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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