my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
