So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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