it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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