I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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