1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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