I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
