Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
third nipple confirmed
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
