Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
